Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Some cool Stuff

The post's title link is about this cool Philip K. Dick book. Another of Philip K. Dick's books is being made into a movie. That link goes to a trailer remix contest.

A crazy trailer for Mel Gibson's next project is out, with this image hidden in it. See if you can find it for yourself.




Proof Mel Gibson's Gone Gonzo





More news about the magnificence of the men Mel is depicting in his foray to the equatorial Americas, as well as being about pyramids.

Lastly, definitive proof that the military industrial complex had something to gain from the events of 9/11.

Cool huh?

Friday, May 26, 2006

If it feels good...


I couldn't stop laughing. But also this comic is pointing out the difficulty in being mature. It's SO hard not to do things that feel good! I know I suck at it.

Subliminal Ad for my Personal Blog

Clic the Pic, and the title of the post's a linc


That's some scary stuff this Bush guy's been saying.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Find MORE sounds


If there's one thing I couldn't live without, it's music. God, don't you love music? But, damn, actually if there's one thing I REALLY couldn't live without, it's a computer, what with the internet and all. Seriously, computers can do anything. They're a more powerful tool than our own hands!... so yeah, #1) computers, #2) music. But together is better: using the internet to find more music. Imagine inputting a favorite artist or song, then getting in return a series of songs by other artists that match your preferences. Last.fm has done this kind of thing for a while.

I mention this because the forces of musical snobbery and computer nerdery, already estimable alone, have joined together in A NEW(ish) AND POWERFUL COMBINATION that will shake the very foundations of your music collection. Or maybe not I guess, but I bet it will. Pandora is a website that attempts to distill what it is we like about our music into discernible characteristics:
Pandora can tell you that Spoon's "My Mathematical Mind" features "acoustic rhythm piano, a 12/8 time signature, mixed acoustic and electric instrumentation, a vocal-centric aesthetic, and triple note feel"-- and that's why it came up on a post-rock station, instead of the indie rock channel where it "belongs."
Try it. It is sweet.
Together we set out to capture the essence of music at the most fundamental level. We ended up assembling literally hundreds of musical attributes or "genes" into a very large Music Genome. Taken together these genes capture the unique and magical musical identity of a song - everything from melody, harmony and rhythm, to instrumentation, orchestration, arrangement, lyrics, and of course the rich world of singing and vocal harmony. It's not about what a band looks like, or what genre they supposedly belong to, or about who buys their records - it's about what each individual song sounds like.
TRY IT.

High School


Being back in my home town for a while. It's my first summer home from college and I feel pulled in a million directions at once. I've been hitting the books with old friends and family and a large topic of conversation has been education. I feel a little like one of the poor people probed by Clarence on the most recent Wonder Showzen *Season 2 Episode 8* when it comes to the issue. I could complain a whole lot about the quality of the current public schooling system but if asked to be the be all and end all on how things should be running I think i come up a little empty. Textbooks always seemed like a problem. To be critical though, I think that our public school system impresses an antiquated state of reality on impressionable minds in a theater that feels more like a concentration camp than a blessing and bloats its own importance to in the eyes of those minds so that failure there is viewed as failure at life. This situation is appalling, In a world where this can happen, we should realize that youth are more capable mentally at a younger age than they ever have been before and that the exhaustive and somewhat pointless action of test-taking, pomp, and circumstance weighed so heavily in high school has very little quantitative benefit in the modern world. All the information you studied in every social studies or science class can be easily attained with a google search. All that math can be done with a calculator. Students are driven in high school by a will to power and not much else. Benefits of good grades? Good college of course. Benefits of good college? Good job of course. Benefits of good job? Money of course.

A problem arises, because the skills necessary to make enough money to survive in this world are taught to kids in video games before they're even in school. Money is not the be all and end all to life. Survival depends on some money, but not only money. Enough money to survive seems to be a pretty easy thing to make if you're willing to put in the effort. School shouldn't need to be the factor that motivates kids to exist in society. That's the only function I believe it could possibly see itself accomplishing and it does so poorly. Students should be offered more selection with less numerical evaluation. The subjects that interest you will be those you're willing to apply effort to, and theres no reason that schools haven't brought curriculums up to date to represent the interests of the modern world. Even more despicable is the absolute lack of valuable information granted in high school courses. My memory of them in retrospect was something akin to a complicated and unfulfilling series of brain teasers and memorization tests. Students interested in science and technology should be encouraged to know that there are fields and careers that match their interests. Artists should know their skills are invaluable to a corporate culture constantly reshaping its glossy chic public image. Those skilled in prose and language could be shown the plethora of possible outlets for their talents in a world shaped by it's words. Instead they are bogged down in rigid tests about names and dates that are all archived in the freakin wikipedia.

Creativity is the greatest tool at our disposal and the factor least present in this system. Students are rarely asked to present anything of their own other than reconstitutions of pre-researched information into charts and power point presentations. Kids could already be discussing issues of social, economic, and political weight, exploring the worlds of electricity and applied sciences, producing works of video, print, and music, and generally creating culture rather than having it hidden within them as dark and dirty secrets not be be revealed. Your opinion and your input into your education shall one of raw effort alone so that we can brand you with a number. This number will be your value to society. Get too low a number and you might just dissapear, you know like JFK.

Friday, May 19, 2006

CO2: They Call it Pollution, We Call it Life (?!)


Global warming: it's real, and we're probably responsible. Scientific evidence of this is coming in hard and fast, almost every day. There are however a number of 'people' (corporations) who deny anything is going on.

The Competitive Enterprise Institute is one of the organizations created to lobby politicians and convince the public that 'there is no problem'. They've even produced a propaganda video! It's hilarious. No content, no nothing; it took me a while to believe it wasn't a parody. So, if this is all they've got, I'm not really that worried.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Root for the LOSING Team?

Everyone and their dog has a problem with the president these days, and that means the Republicans in Congress are going to have a tough time in the midterm elections. It's even possible that Democrats could win a majority in one of the houses. So, good,right? More balance in a government that sorely needs it. Also a strong opposition can be a check on rampant corruption in the ruling party. I don't see Democrats as uncorruptable angels, but their pressure may make Republicans quit their worst transgressions.

Ah, but weirdly, some Democrats WANT TO LOSE in 2006.
From this perspective, it wouldn't be the worstthing in the world politically to watch the Republicans struggle through the last two years of the Bush presidency. There's the prospect of continued conflict in Iraq, high gas prices, corruption investigations, Republican infighting and a gridlocked Congress. Democrats would have a better chance of winning the presidency in 2008, by this reasoning, and for the future they enhance their stature at a time when Republicans are faltering.
The argument goes that allowing America to be alowly destroyed is 'good politics'. If Democrats gain power, they might be expected to do something with it. OH MY GOD NO!

That's just ridiculous. I'm with ol' Bill Clinton on this:
"I think when you suit up you've got to try to win, and I hope we will win because we will get better public policy and it'll be better for America."
At least there's some hope of that.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Spy Spy


So I think I might wanna work for the CIA. I say that after years of fear-mongering the establishment that the CIA seems so intergral in, but lately I see that the element effecting change that I always so longed to be a part of is not a counter-culture, but rather a counter-counter-culture. This is not simple culture as the double negative might imply, but an ascended sort of understanding. There are great evils and there are great goods in the world. Every facet of human existence holds a commingling of these polar extemes. Institutions of order represent human attempts at higher being. These instititutions are things like governments, schools, religions, social networks, and community. The initial impulse of any conscious youth in America is an immediate revulsion toward our action in global politics lately. America operates a torture camp in a communist nation to indefinetly hold prisoners of a war with no determinate enemy. We've started a war against an enemy as staunchly secure in their religious conviction that democracy represents the ultimate god-less evil in the world, as we are that they represent a force of god-less stagnant opression and ignorance.

The key to life lived to it's fullest is really as simple as thinking and acting on your thoughts. The world offers a vast array of possibility to direct what is a nearly infinite human potential. The only goal that serves no end is disorder. The ordered whole as it is offers anyone of any persuasion a way to make it in this world. It's just about looking for it. The greatest system of order I could express desire for all humans to participate in is reality. There's really no reason not to be here. Our American society has bread an opulence that lends itself to hedonism, depression, and disorder. These things are destructive to society and the globe. The people in charge have a plan that I worry may be steering us toward a very dangerous place, what with war in the middle east and all, but they are a well intrenched powerful aristocracy that shows no sign of leaving its perched position. Our only hope for effecting change in the world is to affect the people around us. In the end people make the world. Half of America's populace doesn't vote! The government is pushing us around and spying on us. We don't care though, cause they've got us hooked on TV and Fast-Food. Stop reading what I'm writing right now. You're wasting your time I can assure you. I intend to say nothing in these last few sentences other than that I'm sure theres something very productive you could be doing with your time and I'm sure you're not doing cause you're reading my words. Actions speak. Words just talk. I'm not saying anything anymore. Get out of here already and DO SOMETHING!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Stuff We Just Decided: Addendum to Literary Canon!


Some famous literate people (list) got together recently and decided on the best American books of the last 25 years. Votes were spread all over the board, but some patterns have emerged: Americans love the past, and we love novels that focus on some generalized "American Experience".

Other things: The list is skewed towards old fogeys; there is ultra-scant representation by the under-50 crowd, none of whom made the top tier.
Also, I haven't read almost any of these books, which I think is part of the point of making a list like this. I am nothing in comparison to these people! I am humbled by you, mighty list!

Friday, May 12, 2006

EVIL. Root it Out!


Eventually corruption is revealed, justice wins the day, the guy gets the girl. More and more that is the picture I am getting of the world, an outlook that when commited to creates a positive-feedback loop of good vibes and happy coincidences. Evidence of this today is the rumor that KARL ROVE IS RESIGNING. Seems his indictment by Patrick Fitzgerald is imminent. Wonderful news if true.
Within the last week, Karl Rove told President Bush... that he will be indicted in the CIA leak case and will immediately resign his White House job when the special counsel publicly announces the charges against him, according to sources...

Speaking on condition of anonymity, sources confirmed Rove's indictment is imminent. These individuals requested anonymity saying they were not authorized to speak publicly about Rove's situation. A spokesman in the White House press office said they would not comment on "wildly speculative rumors."

Comedy!! in the 21st century... and beyond!

In this post-pre-post-ironic world of ours, nothing is funny anymore. We have need of new comedy that is exciting and edgy! It needs to shock we who have been exposed to everything. We feel we have seen it all.

I think we need comedy to lure us in and then hit us behind the head. This new IT comedy would be something that is both inviting and frightening. It would appeal to our compassion and then violently disembowel us. It turns out this has been done. It's called Detournement.

This style of comedy is confusing on purpose. It's satire, which is great, but its more jarring than that. Detournement would be to take a well-established idea or character and putting it in a situation completely other. It's like The Ninja Turtles fighting Miles Davis. On most levels, it makes no sense. It's perfect for the disenchanted youth! It's like... take Sesame Street. Make the muppets and the children say sick, mind-expanding things. This is the approach of Wonder Showzen... This show does detournement perfectly. I saw a bunny slit a man's throat at storytime in front of a bunch of kids who screamed as they were doused with blood. It was hilarious.

The way I see it humor is closely associated with nervousness and incomprehension. No better way to accomplish that then to take stuff out of its original context and screw around with it, making it frightening to people. Take this clip, for example.

For a long-winded comic-version of what detournement is, see here. If you dare!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The Muzak


I love the term "Wall of sound". I love the idea of it coming and smashing me with its dense loudness. The size of a wall of sound can vary. Many achieve the wall with huge arrangements of orchestras, while some musicians can create a wall of sound with a toy piano and a harmonica. It doesn't so much matter the size of the wall, as long as you can't run from all the sound.

So, continuing the metaphor, bands are like stone-masons. Some bands build really thick walls, and they are the best masons of all. These walls are sturdy, and every time you go back to them you can observe a different part of them (Ok so I'm stretching it now, but imagine jews at the Western Wall, standing there, looking at all the parts of that wall. Kinda like that.) The best band I can think of in that vein right now is Dungen.

Dungen is from Sweden. Sold.

No? Also they play neo-psychedelic folk rock (!?) and play the most excellent music I've come across in a while. They remind me of what I imagine a stained glass window would sound like.

Monday, May 08, 2006

NWO

So this lab paper i have to write's topic would have me argue whose argument I find most convincing in their account of chemistry. Lately however I find myself far more interested in the phenomenon that is the thing that compelled man to account for chemistry, These men each offer a varied and loose understanding of the of the existence of a pattern of sorts in the natural world. They show that given a manipulation of our surroundings we can begin to see an order. Some element to what surrounds us and embodies us is intelligible. We human creatures possess the power to see the pattern. The pattern is beautiful, and glimpsing the pattern leads us to question why and how we exist within it. We can see that everything that happens happens because of something. This something is a real thing and not just anything. This thing is within us to see. It is shining its light on us always as the sun does. We can either seek to see it. Or we can choose to explain it away as some sort of madness. But we see explicable and inexplicable things occur nonetheless.
The sun shines and moves across the sky we see it move and we see it provide for all things. Our sight, and our survival are so intimately linked to the thing that it could be seen as the ultimate source of good. It obeys some sort of law, a law we see in its regularity. We see that what brings about change in the world is. That it was made came from something. We all came from another person in the most immediate of senses. But that only explains bodily existence. We have an existence beyond the body. We are actors on a stage that is our action, and the action of the first actor. We as intelligent entities are bound to a respect for what made us, as we cannot have been without it. When we see this, that we all have a role to play in a grander design, then we are freed from bondage. We are compelled to look around and to understand. We are struck by the awe and beauty of this grand design so strongly that we seek integration with it forever. We seek to stretch out ourselves toward it, to commit the mind to the love of existence, the love of the moment, the love of the now. Every moment courses with the lifeblood of the mind responsible for all things. A mind we share a piece of so that we may see that it exists.
Socrates fought to this end in his life, I think. He wanted people to see that the answers to man’s questions were embedded in the very positing of the question. We can really only know that we know nothing comparable to the source of knowledge. In all of the time our life encompasses we could never know everything, so we might as well just live our lives to the fullest while stretching the self out in a love of the possibility of a more perfect union. Choice and destiny are sewn together by time and it is a choice given to us to accept or deny our correspondence to this system. A certain sort of freedom arises from this stretching out of the self. The most immediate becomes less significant and one can see the broader picture of time as a huge progression for intelligent life.
These chemists try to break the world down into elements. Their understanding takes the shape of an ordered whole with intelligibility in the periodic table. Euclid showed us another sort of element. He showed us the circle and the triangle and the square. The same real value holds to both elements however. They are something that exists beyond us. No matter if we live or die a circle is always a circle. The nature of the world around that appears wild and fantastic shows us glimpses of the order. The most perfect perhaps being the circle of light in the sky that has taunted us to understand it’s magnificence for so long. We can see that the cause of all is manifest in our existence, as all things arise from things and not from anything random and disorderly. Music sounds best when effort is applied in its creation. Intelligence and awareness is the greatest gift with the greatest effort responsible for it’s existence. Acknowledgement of that gift is the future of mankind. To live life pursuing the perfection of time absent decay is the ultimate realization of the human intellect. We chase change. Change is in us as intelligent things. Rather than consuming the mind with worthless worry and wearily wandering without hope, we must see that we already possess all the keys. Time has been a long time coming. There is no future the future is now. Stop fearing it and just go!

Various Artists - New World Order


Various Artists - New World Order pt 2

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Nightmare POWER!!

Al Qaeda is real, and their intent is threatening. But all the hype we give terrorism is far above the real threat, and does nothing but empower the terrorists. Terrorists want nothing more than to be paid attention to!
"Zawahiri impressed upon Bin Laden the importance of understanding the American mentality. The American mentality is a cowboy mentality-- if you confront them with their identity theoretically and practically they will react in an extreme manner... They will then elevate you and this will satisfy the Muslim longing for a leader who casuccessfully challenge the West."
This is to say nothing of G Dub and his buddies. They scared us into being dependent on them.

That is what The Power of Nightmares: The Rise of the Politics of Fear is about. It's a documentary about the terrorists and the Neocons, and their parallel (and interdependent) rise to power. It's from the BBC (ooh, credibility!) but has never aired in the US except one or two film festivals. The best part is that they get the people who did all the dastardly things to talk about it themselves! And they're bragging! It gave me a creepy spine tingle.

Power of Nightmares Part 2
Power of Nightmares Part 3

Friday, May 05, 2006

Weird China

The Chinese are creating near-exact replicas of American suburbs, down to using the same architect. Odd.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Fox Effect Real! (We Need Our Own Convince-o-Ray...)

Check out this study, mentioned today in the Washington Post. Or, if you don't want to, I'll summarize it: researchers in Berkeley claim to have determined to what degree the popularity of FOX News affected the 2000 election.
In this paper, we present empirical evidence on the impact of media bias on voting. We consider one of the most significant changes in the US media in recent years, the entry and expansion of the Fox News cable channel. We exploit the natural experiment induced by the timing of the entry of Fox News in local cable markets and consider the impact on voting.
What they've found isn't surprising, but it does make one angry...
These audience estimates imply that Fox News convinced
between 3 and 8 percent of its non-Republican listeners to vote Republican. Alternative audience measures imply persuasion effects of up to 30 percent. Exposure to the conservative coverage of Fox News, therefore, had a sizeable persuasion effect.
Oh well. So... I guess we need to yell louder.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I hate the term 'Kafka-esque'



Intellect vs Emotion

Intellect: ?You are evil.?
Emotion: ?You are evil.?
Intellect: ?No, You are evil!?
Emotion: ?No, You are evil!?
Intellect: ?Stop this nonsense! Why are you laughing? I do not see any reason why you should be so delighted.?
Emotion: ?I am not evil and it is fun to imitate you. You always sound hilarious!?
Intellect: ?Making fun of others is an evil act! You always make fun of everything! See then, you are evil! You are saddened; did I bring this sorrow upon you? Well you should be. Being evil is not decorous you know.?
Emotion: ?It is you! You are evil! You and your reasonableness! You always ruin everything with your dull facts! You always destroy my dreams! You envy me!?
Intellect: ?Why in the universe should I envy you!? Pray tell me you do not think I am jealous of your dreams! For, that would be the dreariest joke you have ever come up with!?
Emotion: ?You envy me because you cannot feel. You have never felt joy or sorrow. You can never love!?
Intellect: ?Well if I cannot feel, then how could I possibly envy!? Your words contradict each other. And as for love; love makes you weak; it also consumes your time. I do not see any reason why I should need it.?
Emotion: ?But love makes you strong! It makes you want to continue! It gives you hope! And you speak of time; what could be better than to spend your time loving someone and being loved? I feel sorry for you.?
Intellect: ?Time is much more important than to be wasted away by the futile act of loving. Why must one idle away their time with love, when one can cherish it with thinking!? Thinking upon ways to improve, to gain power. Better be sorry for yourself. For, you are evil.?
Emotion: ?But why do you think me so!??
Intellect: ?Do not pretend that you do not know! You may not be as clever as I am, but I do not think you are that dim-witted. You and your dreams! You and your hopes! You demolish all the things I work so hard to attain. You cannot comprehend the value of power. You always act like a fool!?
Emotion: ?I may be a fool but I am not evil!?
Intellect: ?Oh yes you are! You take away my freedom.?
Emotion: ?It is you who take away my freedom! If it was not for you??
Intellect: ?If it was not for me you would have been done with a long time ago. It was I who stopped you from??
Emotion: ?It was you who stopped me from showing my true self!?
Intellect: ?Then what I did was beneficent to everyone. I stopped you from spreading your evil in the universe!?
Emotion: ?You are evil.?
Intellect: ?You are evil.?
Emotion: ?No, you are evil!?

Look Behind You! It's Al Qaeda!


Everyone knows that Al Qaeda is osama Bin Laden's terrorist organization, the stealthy worldwide spectre with unlimited funds that has worked tirelessly to destroy America. The name 'Al Qaeda' dates back to the mid 80's and means 'The Foundation', but the group was not associated with Bin Laden's brand of terrorism until the mid-90's. It supposedly was a global network by 9/11, and since then many terrorist attacks have been attributed to Al Qaeda. It is politically expedient for Islamic extremists to create an illusion of united power, but there is evidence that many of the people who carried out these acts did so alone. Now disaffected Muslims kill themselves worldwide for Osama Bin Laden's cause. So what we are left with is that Al Qaeda benefitted from the impression that it was powerful. But who made Al Qaeda appear so powerful in the first place? And why?(oh why?!)
"In the current context of Osama bin Laden's terror network, this name was imposed externally by Western officials and media sources. Mr. bin Laden has, in fact, never mentioned 'Al Qaeda' publicly."
CONSERVATIVES in America, specifically Neocons, have consistently pushed on us the idea that we are threatened by a killing machine with scary powers. Right now they're yelling at Iran, but they always have someone lined up.

More on this later.

Black Blood of Babylon


Iran says take a hint from google and, "Don't be evil America, or we'll blow up your buddy Isreal!"

I find Colbert's actions falling parallel to the action of Aristophanes' performance of The Birds most readily. Athens was facing an uncertain military expedition with motives of empire during the Peloponnesian War. Aristophanes play sees idealistic humans transformed into birds to replace the gods in the affairs of men. They construct a wall around the entire earth so that the smell of sacrifice will no longer reach the heavens. The birds were satisfied in their own minds that they could be better rulers than the gods. Eventually the gods cede control to the birds with very little resistence.

Where in the past Aristophanes had been brought to trial for slander in his submissions to the annual festival to Dionysis (god of intoxication and theater), here he seems to say that the Athenians can rest assured they are virtuous enough that the gods will side with them and offer them the right to an extended empire. The substance of the argument and actions ascending to the conclusion are full of questionable content. The birds are described as "father beaters" in that they offer the ability to slander the established custom and action of their predecessors for an elevated god-like existence. The real gods are shown to be petty, near idiotic, and easily mislead by the birds, something that seems quite unusual given any prior account of the gods. The same message seems to resound here in Colberts attack on the 4 branches of government. "Everything is under control! Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! That man right there! That one! Yeah... pay no attention to him. We've got the blessing of the gods. Everything is going to be okay!" One way or another I'm with Jon Stewart about the balls-alicious-ness.

And in closing I'm just pissed that this manifested itself in reality. Denver Defends Against Numerological Doom and Destruction

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Video of Colbert at Correspondents' Dinner

I demand you watch this. It's funny cause it's true.

edit: youtube removed their video at the behest of C-Span. The link is now to Ifilm.

Two Towers



There's some ambivalence between myself and Steve as to the exact form this blog should habituate itself toward. Let's say I'd like it to represent, at least to some degree, my thoughts on the modern political cosmos. Let me start out by directing you toward the title link. I have done a lot of thinking about September 11, 2001, and not all of it was constructive. I've read a lot of web pages by a lot of looneys. In the end, my gut tells me the official story of the events of 9/11 is incomplete or false in part. The government won't provide answers to a bunch of crazies, cause they won't believe anything they're told. So I'm left to flip the pages of my shockingly blameless 9/11 Report, read the PNAC letter On Rebuilding America's Defenses and fume about what appears to be the most visible "conspiracy" for global domination in history.


One way or another I think Hip-Hop music is going to make an impact in the world of politics real soon. Here's a mixtape of material rather exciting. Jay-Z and Nas after having famously feuded in the 90's?, have finally moved on, realized they were both talented and wanted to make more money. So they "Squashed the Beef." Enjoy.

Jay-Z, Nas - Twin Towers Vol 1

China Syndrome

One topic I'll probably bring up regularly is the rise of China. I am generally of the opinion that development is a good thing; I mean, I bet at least SOME benefit will come to the poorer people there, and not just the already-super-rich. But there are real problems that come along with this explosive growth. The Chinese threaten the American dream of easily-gotten comfort and prosperity, but more seriously, the strain on world resources created by 1.3 billion more rich people may become too much. Not to mention what the Chinese are going through...

Monday, May 01, 2006

Great Minds...

It's funny that my first instinct for a post on this newly formed blog was going to be one in tribute to this funny man, and his antics at the recent White House Correspondents Dinner. Looks like I got beaten to the punch. The whole thing reminds me of V for Vendetta. The event's assuring in the sense that Stephen Colbert's not dead right now. Apparently Bush joked about an impersonator he had with him on stage having stood in for himself at debates. Perhaps we finally have an answer to what that strange protrusion was.

The Night Time is Clearly the Right Time

Most of my posts will be from deep in the night, where I live. First thing I would like to talk about: Stephen Colbert hosted the White House Correspondent's Dinner recently, and he pissed off Bush and all the members off the press. Which is fine. But the newspapers barely mentioned him, clearly because they're embarrassed by what he called them, which is a puppet. (On a side note, I think Colbert is a funny guy, but some of his jokes up there were repeats from his show...)

Announcing: the answer to your dreams. hopes. fears. desires. A monument to self-indulgence.